If you’re exhausted, unwell, or simply don’t want to attend something, you have the right to say no.
Whether it’s a special event, family gathering, or just catching up with friends in person or online, it’s more than OK to protect your energy levels and put yourself first sometimes.
The tricky part is knowing how to decline invitations without hurting people’s feelings.
Here are some tips for saying no without offending anyone.
Take some time to practice saying no to build up your strength for doing it in real life. Write a straightforward script (try to keep it to 1-2 sentences max) and practice in front of the mirror.
Try to resist the temptation to over-explain your reasons for saying no. Keep your response simple and clear.
Often all that’s required is something like this: ‘Thank you for thinking of me, but I can’t make it I’m sorry.’ Most people won’t ask any further questions – and if they do, you can consider how to respond then.
If your knee-jerk reaction is to say no (or yes!) to something immediately, without giving yourself time to consider the offer, try to get into the habit of responding with “can I get back to you?”.
Delay your response until you’ve had the time to consider it fully. That way, you can feel confident in your final decision.
Rejection is always much easier to handle when it’s clear the person saying it has no bad feelings. A friendly smile and simple ‘thank you’ can make a world of difference – it shows the other party that you appreciate their offer and helps to smooth over any negative feelings.
Maybe you like the person or their idea, but you can’t make it that day – or you like the day and the person, but not the event. Suggest catching up some other time or doing something else.
Don’t feel obliged to offer an alternative if you don’t want to, though.
Once you’ve made a choice to say no, stick to it! If you flip-flop on your answer, it will only make things more stressful for you in the moment and more difficult for people to take you seriously later on. Going with your decision will be better for everyone.
Spending time with people or helping others is a wonderful thing, but it’s also OK to say no sometimes.