Each time you assess, set, uphold, or revise a boundary, you are supporting your wellbeing. Engaging with healthy boundaries is a mental practice that strengthens aspects of your wellbeing such as self-awareness, self-respect, independence, and clarity of your identity and values.
One strategy for creating healthy boundaries is to use the ‘three Ss’: Set, State, and Stick. Introduced by Dr Carolyn Pritchett, Head of Neuroscience at Groov, the three Ss below can be applied to all types of boundaries at work and home.
Setting a boundary begins with clarity. Before communicating your boundary to others, it’s crucial to get clear on what that boundary is and why you’re setting it. Here are some tips:
Identify your personal and professional priorities. What aspects of your life are most important to you? What are your primary goals in these areas? Knowing your priorities will guide you in setting boundaries that align with your values. Having a clear grasp on why your boundaries are important will also help you stick to them with time.
Assess your needs. Reflect on your physical, emotional, mental and professional needs. Consider what you require to feel productive, comfortable, and balanced in your work and personal life. These needs then inform the boundaries you establish.
Prioritise. Assess your current work environment and relationships. Identify where boundary-setting is most needed based on your observations, experiences, and goals. Note when you may make exemptions to a boundary, and when you would not.
Keep it simple. Boundaries that are simple to remember, discuss, and implement will have the longest-lasting impact. Using reminders in a way that works for you further simplifies and supports the process.
Communicate your new boundary to those who need to know.
Be direct and concise. Avoid vague or ambiguous language, which can lead to misunderstandings.
Use positive language and ‘I’ statements. Frame your boundaries in a positive manner, focusing on what you need rather than what you don’t want. For example, say, “I’m going to focus on my project this afternoon, so I’ll have my notifications off until 4 pm”.
Once you’ve set a boundary, stick to it as consistently as possible so it becomes a habit. This helps establish a predictable pattern, making it easier for others to respect your limits and supporting healthier relationships.
Protect your boundaries. Prepare responses in advance for times when your boundaries may be pushed or questioned. Having an idea of what you will say makes it easier to stick to your boundaries in the moment, while still being thoughtful of the other person.
Look after yourself. Prioritise self-care to help you maintain energy and resilience. Take breaks, exercise and eat well, and manage stress. Support yourself by gently and thoughtfully saying “no” or “not right now” as needed to maintain your boundary.
Acknowledge the benefits and celebrate the wins. Reflect on the positive impact of your boundaries, when you have stated them to others and when you have stuck to them. Consider how they have improved your work, relationships, or overall life.
Adjust as needed. Your boundaries may need adjustment over time to accommodate changing circumstances. Be open to reevaluating and adapting your boundaries as necessary.
References:
Bouziri, H., Smith, D. R. M., Descatha, A., Dab, W., & Jean, K. (2020). Working from home in the time of COVID-19: how to best preserve occupational health?. Occupational and environmental medicine, 77(7), 509–510. https://doi.org/10.1136/oemed-2020-106599
Davies, M. (2007). Boundaries in counselling and psychotherapy. Athena Press.
Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2008). Self-determination theory: A macrotheory of human motivation, development, and health. Canadian Psychology / Psychologie canadienne, 49(3), 182–185. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0012801
Pluut, H., & Wonders, J. (2020). Not Able to Lead a Healthy Life When You Need It the Most: Dual Role of Lifestyle Behaviors in the Association of Blurred Work-Life Boundaries With Well-Being. Frontiers in psychology, 11, 607294. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.607294
Manganelli, L., Thibault-Landry, A., Forest, J., & Carpentier, J. (2018). Self-Determination Theory Can Help You Generate Performance and Well-Being in the Workplace: A Review of the Literature. Advances in Developing Human Resources, 20(2), 227-240. https://doi.org/10.1177/1523422318757210
Van den Broeck, A., Ferris, D. L., Chang, C.-H., & Rosen, C. C. (2016). A Review of Self-Determination Theory’s Basic Psychological Needs at Work. Journal of Management, 42(5), 1195-1229. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206316632058