Kind alternatives to negative self-talk

Everyone struggles with negative self-talk from time to time. Our brains are actually wired for negativity – to notice things that present a threat. This means we’re more attuned to negative thoughts, like self-criticism.

But, just because negative thoughts are quite normal, that doesn’t mean you have to put up with them all the time. They’re exhausting! And they can take a huge toll on your mental wellbeing and self-esteem.

One way to cope with negative self-talk is to flip the script. Here are some alternatives to common negative statements.

Disclaimer: If negative thoughts are overwhelming you to the point of mental ill health, please seek help from a professional.

1. ‘I’m not good at this’ vs ‘I’m still learning’

We all have to start somewhere – no one learns something overnight. When your thoughts drift to putting yourself down for your efforts, gently remind yourself that you’re still learning.

2. ‘I made a mistake’ vs ‘this as an opportunity to learn’

Everyone makes mistakes. And it’s frustrating when it happens to us. But instead of berating yourself, learn for next time. What new information can you apply to the future?

3. ‘I’ll never be able to do this’ vs ‘I’ll try again’

It’s easy to give up when we’re feeling frustrated at failed attempts to do something. But as mentioned above, life is learning and often if we persevere we’ll get there eventually.

4. ‘I’m a failure’ vs ‘sometimes I fail and that’s OK’

You’re more than your mistakes. Everyone fails and makes mistakes from time to time – try to see these as isolated incidents, not a reflection of your character.

5. ‘I’m not good enough’ vs ‘I’m doing my best’

We all have unique strengths to offer. Focus on what you, as an individual, can contribute to the world instead of comparing yourself to others.