Small ways to stay connected when rural life feels isolating
A bit of peace and quiet can be one of the perks of rural life. There’s something pretty special about spending your days outside, working with the land, noticing the seasons change and having space to think. On a good day, it can feel like the best job in the world.
But rural life isn’t always idyllic. It’s easy to romanticise the good parts — but there are plenty of niggly parts, too. This kind of life isn’t for the faint of heart. There’s a reason a lot of city slickers probably wouldn’t last a week!
One of the tricky parts is how isolating the work can be. You might have family, farmhands or contractors around, and spend plenty of time on the phone or radio sorting out what needs to happen next. But that doesn’t mean you’re getting much time to connect with others on a deeper level.
If you’re missing social connection, consider this Mental Health Awareness Week (12-18 October) a nudge to do something about it. This year’s theme is Belonging Matters is a good reminder that we all need people around us.
Here are a few ideas to dial up your connection time this Mental Health Awareness Week and beyond.
Sounds obvious, but it’s often easier said than done. Put something in the diary that gives you a reason to leave — coffee in town, rugby, dinner at the pub. You don’t have to disappear for a whole day (often impossible). Even a couple of hours can break up the week and give you a social top-up.
Lock in a few things ahead of time, even if it’s only once a month. Try to schedule events where there is some accountability layered in. A regular catch-up is harder to cancel when other people are expecting you.
Sometimes it’s nice to talk about something other than farming. Try a local sports team, volunteering, a community event or catching up with old mates who work in completely different worlds.
A good yarn on the phone is a great way to bring some of the outside world to you. It can break up a long stretch on your own and give you a bit of company while you get on with the day. Keep a few people in mind to call when things are quiet. What you talk about really doesn’t matter.
Haven’t seen someone at the usual places lately? Give them a ring or flick them a message. No need to make a big thing of it. A quick “Haven’t seen you in a while — what’ve you been up to?” shows them you care.
A familiar podcast or radio show can be surprisingly good company when you spend a lot of time on your own. There’s even research behind it — we can form a sense of connection with the people we regularly listen to or watch. It’s no replacement for your actual mates, but it can make a quiet day feel a little less lonely. Plus, it gives you something to talk about next time you catch up with someone.
Looking for more ideas or support?
Check out:
Mental Health Awareness Week for more ways to connect.
Farmstrong for practical wellbeing tools and resources made for rural New Zealanders.
Rural Support Trust for free, confidential support from people who understand the pressures of rural life.