When it feels as though life is coming at you, and it’s one challenge after another, we can get stuck in survival mode. Adopting simple, evidence-based strategies to build resilience, and top up feel good brain chemicals, can help us face the challenges when they come, and generally have a better day.
During challenging times, try to find ways to calm your fight or flight response.
Fight or flight is your brain’s automatic survival response in the face of danger. The fight or flight response triggers the release of stress hormones – adrenaline and cortisol – which aim to free up energy for the body to flee or fight. This is important in emergencies, but spending prolonged periods of time in fight or flight can interfere with your wellbeing.
The good news is, there are several ways to calm your fight or flight response. Research shows the following activities have a calming effect:
Breathe - taking deep belly breaths calms the stress response
Acknowledge your feelings - labeling your feelings activates the part of the brain responsible for processing emotion
Remind yourself of things that are certain - this reminds the brain that even through chaos and uncertainty, there are still things you can rely on
Find moments where you can be in the now - being in the present moment means we are not catastrophizing about the future or reliving difficult times that have passed
Make it a habit: Set a reminder to find calm every 45 minutes. Take several deep breaths wherever you are; step outside and feel the wind, sun, or rain on your skin; or acknowledge your feelings out loud.
When things are difficult we can feel frozen or get caught in worry loops. Building action plans to address the things that bother us can help us feel less stuck or overwhelmed.
How to build an action plan: Focus on the things you can control. Make a list of small steps you can take to move forward. Avoid living in an “imagined future”, as this exhausts the brain and it’s likely to be wrong anyway. Stick with the things you can do right now.
Feeling connected to others triggers oxytocin, which has been linked with better physical health and longevity and also shown to contribute to lower levels of depression and anxiety. Connection can also provide a break from worry.
Ways to feel connected include: Talking, writing letters or emails, reaching out to people in your community, and leaning on support networks. Microconnections – such as saying hello to the supermarket cashier – are beneficial, too.
Difficult times often feel like they are going to last forever. That’s largely thanks to our brain’s ‘negativity bias’. The brain pays more attention to negative thoughts and experiences than positive ones.
To keep perspective, we need to train our brains to notice good things, too. It’s important to remind ourselves that even during tough times, there is still good in the world.
Look for small good things in the world around you
Try not to binge on “bad news” – limit social media and other sources of news
Reframe challenges as learnings or opportunities (for example, empathy often comes from adversity). This isn’t about pretending things are great when they’re not. Toxic positivity by dismissing tricky feelings is unhelpful. It’s about noticing if there are some benefits along with all the difficult bits (e.g. a feeling of community through a weather event).
Try Peach-Pit-Blossom: Peach – what are you feeling good about or holding gratitude for right now? Pit – What are some of the challenges you’ve been facing? Blossom – what are you looking forward to?
It’s so important to make time for hobbies, interests, and topping up your tank. This gives your mind a rest from worrying and other intense emotions. Taking regular ‘joy breaks’ also helps you build resilience so you can better cope with what tomorrow might bring.
Ways to top up and recharge: Sleep, food, hydration, and exercise are great places to start! Make time for things you enjoy, take plenty of microbreaks to breathe and just be, plan for fun, and most of all, be kind to yourself. You’re doing your BEST. You deserve kindness and care.
We’re not meant to go through tough times alone. It’s brave to ask for help. Lean on your support networks, reach out to friends and family, and seek extra help if you need it.
Helplines:
Australia: Call Beyond Blue on 1800 512 348
New Zealand: Call or text 1737 (NZ’s free 24/7 helpline) or Youthline free text 234/free phone 0800 376 633