Moving from ‘why me’ to ‘what’s next’
When life throws you a curveball, you’re allowed to wallow for a while. A small dose of self-pity can be healing. Sometimes, you just need to hide under the covers and lick your wounds. But after a certain point, it’s time to move on.
One way to overcome self-pity is to move from a “why me?” mindset to a “what’s next?” mindset. Asking “why me?” over and over again keeps you stuck focusing on what went wrong, and if you spend too long here, you can miss wonderful new opportunities right in front of you.
Asking “what’s next” invites you to look at your life through a new lens. What options are available to you that weren’t before? What can you do now?
This isn’t about minimising the pain you went through or pretending that everything is fine. It’s about protecting your wellbeing by gently training your brain to move forward.
While asking “what’s next?”, it’s also important to honour small daily habits that make you feel better, such as fresh air or hanging out with trusted friends. These wellbeing habits are your foundation — “what’s next?” is your future.
An important caveat: you don’t need to answer “what’s next?” with a big audacious goal. Sometimes, what’s next is as simple and practical as getting out of bed, taking a shower, or going for a walk around the block. Sometimes, it’s applying for a new job or booking an appointment with a therapist. That’s part of its charm — the question is open-ended. You can ask yourself “what’s next?” every day, and it’s often enough to propel you forward.