What to do when gratitude doesn’t come naturally
Do you feel a little bit allergic to the idea of starting a gratitude process? Some people find this concept jarring, especially when life feels heavy or things aren’t working the way you hoped. The idea of “counting your blessings” might sound tone-deaf — like a demand to be grateful, rather than an invitation.
But research consistently shows that gratitude is important to wellbeing. Noticing things in your life that you appreciate — big and small — helps rewire your brain to notice even more good things, and also builds emotional resilience.
Think of a gratitude practice as emotional strength training. At first, it’s hard and there’s a lot of resistance. But each small rep builds awareness and helps you gain perspective.
You don’t have to rush to the shops to buy a gratitude journal or start sticking affirmations to your bathroom mirror. Here are a few gentle ways to dip your toes into a gratitude practice.
Lower the bar. Try noticing one neutral or good moment: a warm drink, a kind text, the feel of clean sheets.
Skip the list, tell the story. Instead of writing bullet points, recall one small moment that felt good, and describe why. Storytelling deepens the feeling more than ticking boxes.
Let both truths exist. You can be grateful and grieving, thankful and overwhelmed. Real gratitude makes room for complexity — it doesn’t erase hardship.
Say it out loud. Expressing thanks to someone, however small, strengthens the feeling for both of you. Gratitude multiplies when shared.
You don’t have to feel grateful to begin (just like you don’t have to feel strong to begin strength training). Trust the process and start where you are — you’ll get there.