How to tell if your goals are truly your own
Each new year brings a flood of messages about self-improvement. We’re told that transformation equals worthiness. It’s easy to mistake this noise for motivation, when in fact much of it is marketing.
Beauty and wellness industries thrive on dissatisfaction. They rebrand insecurity as empowerment and call it progress. When we internalise those ideals, even our healthiest intentions can morph into quiet self-criticism. What begins as “wanting to feel good” can quickly become “wanting to be better than I am.”
Before you commit to any goal, pause and ask yourself a few grounding questions.
Is this desire mine, or something I’ve absorbed?
Would it still matter if no one could see the result — if it didn’t earn likes, compliments, or approval?
Does it expand my life, or narrow it?
Real growth feels spacious. It gives you more energy, connection, and freedom — not less.
Does it come from curiosity or comparison?
Change born from curiosity builds confidence. Change born from comparison usually breeds exhaustion.
You don’t need to abandon improvement — just anchor it in self-respect, not self-rejection. The most sustainable resolutions aren’t about changing your appearance or your pace; they’re about building a life that feels like yours again.