When secret-keeping is a good thing
Not all secrets are stressful or shame-ridden. Some secrets can actually make you feel like you’re glowing from the inside out. These are positive secrets: joyful, meaningful things you’re keeping to yourself (for now).
Examples of positive secrets include:
Planning a proposal or celebration
Training for an event or goal
Writing a book or doing a creative project
Saving up for something special
Quietly improving a habit
Applying for something exciting
Keeping a pregnancy private
Receiving a promotion at work
Booking an overseas trip
According to psychologists, holding a positive secret stretches out the joy. Instead of one quick hit of happiness when you share, you get a slow burn — imagining the moment over and over and anticipating someone’s reaction. The anticipation builds a sense of reward in the brain, activating neural pathways linked to motivation and pleasure. You get to enjoy the moment many times in your mind, imagining the reveal and relishing in the excitement.
But there’s more to it than anticipation. Positive secrets also tend to be driven by intrinsic motivation, meaning you’re choosing to keep something private not because of external pressure, but because it’s meaningful to you. That sense of autonomy boosts wellbeing and self-efficacy.
So, if you’ve got good news or a special idea bubbling away, consider keeping it close for a while. Let it warm you from the inside.